Chapter 637
“Mr. Fu is right, I am self-aware of myself!” After saying that, I got into the car.
Chen Yi was puzzled, but there was no way to forcefully stop me, so he had to drive behind me.
Previously, Shen Yu had transferred a house in the capital to me, I always thought I wouldn’t need it, so I never went there, but today, thinking about it, I took a taxi directly there.
It was in the centre of the city, not too far away, and the house was a hundred and fifty family type, decorated in a very elegant way, because no one had lived there for all these years, so it inevitably smelled of dust.
I didn’t expect the first person to visit the place would be Gu Han, and I was a bit cold when I saw him.
Disgust grew in my heart and my words became unfriendly, “What are you doing here?”
He looked at the house behind me and seemed satisfied, “Are you used to living here?”
I pursed my lips, still saying the same thing, “Something wrong?”
He wasn’t upset by my displeasure, he was in a good mood and spoke, “May I come in and sit down?”
Moving out of the way, he entered the living room and sat down on the sofa, I didn’t pour any water, nor did I intend to.
I didn’t pour water, nor did I intend to. My eyes were a little cold; the last time we parted, the old friendship had been more or less consumed.
He looked at me, his eyebrows were light, and he spoke straight to the point, “Four years ago, after we parted ways in M, I returned to China not long afterwards. How have you been? I wandered around a different city every year, trying to find you, but afraid of finding you ……”
He recounted calmly, his words without that coldness, but instead seemed somewhat gentle, “Shen Shu, you don’t know how much I miss you.”
If it had been four years ago, as this encounter, I think I would have asked him calmly what the car accident was all about at first? Why did he go to M? Why didn’t he come back when he was clearly not dead?
But now, I don’t want to know any of these questions, I just want him to leave.
I don’t know what your purpose in pestering me is, if it’s to join forces with the Mo family through me, then I think you’re overthinking it, I didn’t recognize the Mo family four years ago, and I’m even less likely to return to the Mo family now, as for the Shen family, I think Shen Yu hates you as much as Fu Shen Yan, so it’s even more unlikely that he’ll cooperate with you, so it’s of no use to you to pester me. ”
Since they were businessmen they analysed the interests at stake.
There is a brief silence in the living room as he raises his hand, takes my wrist and presses my palm to his abdomen, not to explore his toned body.
It was the scars that were touched.
“Four years ago, I brought you back to South Court from the hospital, you were delirious because you had lost your baby, you used to sit alone on the balcony and stare, if there was no one around you would climb up to the window and jump down, because I was afraid you would hurt yourself I stapled all the windows in the villa to death, later you would get up in the middle of the night looking for a knife and cut yourself on the wrist, you were crying and tearing your heart out tugging at my coat looking for the baby, and that time you almost hurt yourself, and I went to grab the knife from your hand and held back so you could stab it into yourself, and you saw the blood and were in a coma for days.”
His words were light, his face calm, but my heart did throb violently, so much time had passed that I was almost forgetting those days.
He smiled lightly, “Then you woke up and I had all the knives and sharp objects in the house taken away, I originally thought that without these things that could hurt you would not hurt yourself, but you would still bang your head against the wall seeking death, in order to keep you well, I stayed awake every day guarding you for fear that you would not think straight.”
Chapter 638
Those days were so hard that one always chooses, in time, to forget the most painful processes.
He mentioned it in such detail that my heart ached, but I couldn’t say a word.
I drew my hand back and opened my mouth to say thank you, but felt too shallow to do so, so I chose to remain silent.
I know you have no love for me, but so what? The days are so long, love and joy, we’ll just create them step by step, but I didn’t think you’d end up going with him.”
He laughed at himself, smiling sarcastically, “Shen Shu, you really have forgotten the pain when you’re well!”
I was speechless, pursing my lips, unable to say anything.
He laughed coldly, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but Shen Shu, do you know how I survived those nights when my parents died one after another? I always thought that if you had stayed with me, like I did with you, maybe I wouldn’t have suffered so much, but every time I woke up in the middle of the night, the room was empty and silent, and I found no one around me.”
He looked at me, his dark eyes dreadfully dark, “Do you know what it’s like to be alone and suffering in the dark?”
I pursed my lips, the phrase “I’m sorry” stuck in my heart and I couldn’t say it.
“Shen Shu, you don’t know how deep my love for you was at first, and how deep my hatred was later.”
The words came out of Gu Han’s mouth, and I froze on the sofa, unable to return to my senses for a long time.
When I studied physics in high school, there was a chapter on the theorem of conservation of forces, and later in materialism in politics, it also talked about the conservation of all things.
When I was a child in spring, all I could think about was astronomy and geography, and I always used the analogy of everything in time. Now, when I think about it, I realize with hindsight that all the truths we need to understand in this life were learned in the nine-year compulsory school.
In this world, there is no such thing as love and care out of thin air, it’s just an exchange of reciprocal feelings.
With Gu Han, I’m afraid I’ll never be able to face it properly in my life.
He was right, he was the one who pulled me out of hell, why wasn’t I willing to reach out and pull him when he was in hell?
He left, and I sat in the living room, up all night. I was in no position to judge Gu Han’s rightness or wrongness; every step he took now was just a way to calm the resentment in his own heart.
It was not a cold September day in the capital, but the cool breeze late at night was enough to make it difficult to sleep.
This night.
No sleep.
Fu Shenyan’s visit seemed to be a no-brainer, and I wasn’t overly surprised.
I had a nanny and the Four Seasons to take care of the transportation, so I didn’t have to worry.
I was still sitting on the sofa, stiff and numb from the hours that had passed.