Chapter 711
The rest of my eyes glanced at the starburst in his hand, and not knowing what kind of mood I was in, I raised my hand, took the butt from him and put it in my mouth and took a shallow puff.
I only found the rich cigarette a little choking, not wanting to smell so good, but it was good not to grab it, just smoky.
“Nonsense!” He spoke, taking the cigarette from my hand, snuffing it out and throwing it in the trash.
His dark gaze fell on me, a little dim and uncertain, “If you’re in a bad mood, you can vent towards me.”
I smiled lightly and couldn’t help but shake my head, “Fu Shen Yan, I’m sleepy.” I am really sleepy, people have too many things on their mind, so they feel bitter and depressed to live.
He wrapped me in his arms, his arms used force, my whole body was wrapped around him, some pain, it was the pain in my heart.
“When I first saw her, my heart was joyful, I knew the fate of this world, at that time I thought, a woman at her age, still that graceful and beautiful, really is God’s gift, she hurt me for Lu Xinran, in the warehouse I felt the death of my child little by little, at that time I hated her, I swore, if I could live, I want her to experience more than my child’s pain ten times over.”
At the mention of the child, the pain in my heart grew more and more overwhelming.
I paused and drew a breath, forcing down the pain in my heart, “But I hadn’t thought about it, and in the end the price I paid wasn’t small, if I could have, I would have preferred that we had never met, that I had never married you or gone to Jiangcheng, that it might have been a blessing in life to have never met in my life.”
I could feel his pain and suffering as his body was wrapped tightly around me, and the pain in my heart churned harder and harder.
His breath was slightly ragged, a sign of suppressed emotion.
I continued to speak, like a puppet being manipulated, “I left here four years ago, when I wanted to hate you, and even thought that I would spend my life away from you, away from everyone around me, the same way I was born, abandoned alive and forsaking all.”
“I knew that if I couldn’t hate you, I naturally couldn’t hate her either, she was my mother, a fact I couldn’t escape, no matter how big the mistake was, in the end I had to bear all this pain calmly. ”
I pushed all the resentment and pain down into my heart and let them grow wildly with time.
I know that everyone hopes that I can let go of the past and start over, but the despair buried in the earth will sooner or later grow with the irrigation of resentment.
Four years ago, you left me to return to the cold villa, looking at the empty house, always feel extraordinarily empty and silent, sometimes wake up in the middle of the night to hear the children’s cries and the sound of your pain, I feel like being strangled, almost suffocated, later Chen Yi asked me to move out, but I did not want to leave, the house is empty and silent, but at least there is still your breath. ”
He said, “Shen Shu, we are both people with broken souls, even if we are kites with broken strings, to fly we are still entwined together.”
I tilted my head to look at him and saw that his gaze was unusually soft, “Here.” His slender fingers landed on his heart, his voice low, “No one has ever stepped foot but you.”
I pursed my lips and drew a long breath, sensing that I shouldn’t drown in the mud of the past and not come out.
Straightening up, I spoke, “Fu Shen Yan, I want to be quiet.”
Chapter 712
Suddenly I realized that I couldn’t resent, I couldn’t resent Ivana Lin because she was my mother and it was Fu Shenyan who started everything she did wrong.
If it hadn’t been Lu Xinran who came back to the Mo family in the first place, nothing would have happened.
Lu Xinran was innocent, Lin Ivana was innocent, and even Fu Shen Yan was innocent.
Each one of them started out because they loved the people they cared about, so in the end, even though each one was scarred, there was no way to hate them.
The past is not something that can be explored in detail, and once it is, you won’t even know who to blame instead.
When I returned to the bedroom, I locked the bedroom door behind me, isolating me from Fu Shen Yan.
He stood outside the door, not speaking, unusually silent.
And I, with a nameless resentment that I didn’t know how to attribute, finally began to feel like I had made a big deal out of it.
That night, as the weather forecast had said, it snowed heavily in the capital.
I sat on the balcony watching the snow all night, and my heart began to ache slowly.
Everyone knows that you can’t live through it all the time, but the places that have been hurt still ache vaguely in the dark corners.
In the middle of the night, I fell asleep on the balcony in a daze when the phone hissed, it was Chen Yi calling.
Looking at the time, I was a little surprised; it was already early in the morning, what was he doing calling?
Picking up the phone, before I could even begin to speak, Chen Yi’s spoke up, eager and dripping with worry, “Madam, Mr. Fu is in Mo’s yard, can you …… come over and persuade him?”
I froze, what was Fu Shen Yan doing at Mo’s house?
There was a pause before he spoke, “What’s wrong?”
It seemed inconvenient to say, he hesitated for a moment and spoke, “Mr. Fu said he wanted to redeem himself, so he came to Mo’s house, it’s snowing outside, he’s been there for hours, I’m afraid his body can’t take it.”
My nose was so sore it was unbearable, I didn’t know what to say, you see some memories can’t be mentioned, otherwise it hurts a lot.
“Okay, I’ll come over!” I spoke, the pain in my heart, somewhat numbed.
Four seasons asleep, I went out of the villa, it was snowing heavily, there seemed to be no way to get a taxi, I had to drive there myself.
The good thing is that the road is not used to be closed, I drove slowly, to Mo’s house is already an hour later.
It was an hour later when I arrived at Mo’s house. In a large area of villas, Mo’s house was the only one with bright lights.
When I pushed open the door of Mo’s house, without a doubt, I saw Fu Shen Yan, who was almost buried in the snow, in the middle of the heavy snowfall.
He was kneeling in front of the Mo family’s door, a thick layer of snow had piled up on his black tailored coat, and it seemed he had been here for a long time.
He could not see his back, firm and upright, and did not seem to be weakened by the heavy snow.
Lin Ivana and Mo Zhi Zhan stood under the eaves with extraordinarily complicated expressions on their faces.
My appearance seemed to break the otherwise silent atmosphere, and Lin Wan’s gaze fell on me, her face, already tinged with a bit of haggardness, looking more and more faint.
I staggered away from her aching gaze and walked towards Fu Shen Yan in the courtyard, standing behind him.
I didn’t say anything, just stood in silence with him in the snow.
Chen Yi’s face, which originally showed a few moments of delight, stiffened for a short time.
When Fu Shen Yan heard the movement, he turned back to look at me, his lips were a bit blue and purple, his voice was low and hoarse, “Go back and rest.”
I pursed my lips and didn’t move.
He frowned, his eyes looking towards Chen Yi, “Send Madam back.”
Seeing this, Chen Yi was a bit helpless and walked to my side, looking at me and sighing slightly, “Madam, go back and rest, you are weak, you can’t afford to be tossed around like this.”
I spoke, “Since we are here, what is the point of going back like this?”