Chapter 825
I moved a stool to sit by his bed and looked at him, as he was lying on his back because the burns were on his back.
Looking at his still handsome side, I wondered if this was a mutual debt between him and me.
Perhaps over the years, we are no longer sure whether our feelings for each other are what the world calls love, or whether we owe each other over the years.
The reason for this is that we can’t let go of it.
Fu Shenyan woke up at night, the doctor finished changing his medicine and explained, “It will be very painful after the anaesthesia, the patient cannot get out of bed for the time being, so pay attention to changing his diaper bag and scrubbing his body to avoid him from discomfort.”
I nodded, I knew all this, and when I thought about it this was the first time I had taken care of Fu Shen Yan in so many years.
It seemed like he had rarely been sick before, and had never had any major illnesses.
It was tragic for him too, to have lived half his life in peace and then somehow suffer such a change.
The doctor left and the nurse carefully changed the medicine on his back, he still had fluid on the back of his hand, the nurse took care of it and looked at me and said, “The medicine for the wound, it needs to be changed every three hours, you remember to come and call us.”
I nodded my head and lowered my voice to say thank you.
Not long after the nurse left, Fu Shen Yan woke up, he was lying on the bed, his thin lips moved slightly, his voice seemed a little hoarse.
I got up, poured water and offered it to him through a straw, but he shook his head and gestured for me to use a cup directly.
I complied and drank the water, a few moments better, and he looked at me, his mouth white, “I’m glad you’re okay.”
It was strange, the first thing this man said when he woke up made me cry.
I squeezed my throat and looked at him, “Fu Shen Yan, you’re a jerk.”
He smiled, the corners of his mouth rising, his face haggard but handsome as ever, “Don’t worry, it’s just a minor injury, it’ll heal.”
I glared at him, my throat hurting a little, “What’s a major injury?” You almost lost half your life and you call it a minor injury, you really don’t take your life seriously.
He smiled lightly and spoke, “I’m thirsty.” I wanted to be a ruthless daughter-in-law and kill him with thirst, but I looked into his eyes and my heart softened.
Feeding him water, my heart was both sore and uncomfortable, and tears unconsciously hit the back of my hand.
When he saw it, he couldn’t help but sigh slightly and said with a light smile, “Why are there so many tears? Girls shouldn’t cry all the time, they tend to become ugly if they cry for too long.”
I stared at him, my voice choked, “I’m disfigured, what else can I be ugly, Fu Shen Yan, I don’t need you to sacrifice for me, I don’t appreciate it when you do this.”
He smiled lightly, “I didn’t ask for your gratitude, silly, Jun Yu’s target was me, you’re innocent, to say the least, it was me who harmed you, so I deserve to suffer this, you don’t need to blame yourself.”
I bowed my head, my voice low, “That’s what I thought.”
He laughed lowly and raised his hand to pull me, I wanted to withdraw it but the slightest pressure brought a low huffing sound from him, obviously because he had pulled at the wound.
Never mind, it was fine to pull.
He was holding my hand, and perhaps the anesthesia was too strong, so his hand was very cold, and for the first time, I felt his hand was so cold.
He said, “Shen Shu, I’m sorry, I don’t seem to be able to be the hero you think I am, every time you get hurt I don’t show up to take all the damage for you, this time too, I originally thought I could take all the damage for you, but still no, you still got hurt.”
He raised his hand and tried to touch the scar on my face, but he withdrew it because the movement pulled the wound too much.
Chapter 826
My heart felt like it was clogged with a ball of cotton, stuttering pain, looking at him and shaking my head, tears choking in my eyes, it was hard, “Fu Shen Yan, I never wanted a hero.”
He smiled lightly and took my hand and put it to his lips, his lips were cold and I knew that his anesthesia had pa*sed and the wound was starting to hurt.
He said, “Four years ago, I made the mistake of harming you and the baby, and four years later I almost did the same to you, I’m sorry, I know you have a grudge in your heart, but actually, that’s good. I don’t blame you for not thinking of me first when you were in danger, I don’t do enough to make you think of relying on me when things go wrong, I’m sorry.”
I opened my mouth to deny it, but somehow realized that it seemed like he was telling the truth.
It wasn’t worth saying anything, and after a pause, I had to say, “Fu Shen Yan, don’t say anything!”
He smiled lightly, “It’s okay, I’m willing to wait, to work, to wait for you to put me first.”
I always felt that after living half my life, I had only lived one Fu Shen Yan, but now when I think about it, I actually haven’t.
Maybe all I’ve lived is myself, I don’t seem to know how to let go and forget, and I’m used to carrying all my past on my back and moving on.
I don’t want to reach out to new people, and I don’t want to let go of everything to face the people I used to love.
So it was hard for us all along the way.
As soon as the anaesthesia completely pa*sed, he was in pain and sweating, but I couldn’t do anything, I washed a towel to wipe his sweat, he just looked at me and smiled, as if it wasn’t himself who was in pain.
Seeing me crouching by the bed, he spoke, “Shen Shu, what are you doing?”
I knew that he was just trying to talk to me and distract himself.
I untied the diaper bag and after a pause spoke, “Changing the bag!”
There was no more sound from him, and for what seemed like a moment, he was silent.
I know that people who are looked up to never want to be seen like this, and I understand his embarra*sment.
Silent as he took care of everything, his eyes were closed and he seemed to be asleep.
But the dense stains of sweat on his forehead told me that he was not, and I silently took a towel to wipe his sweat.
I silently took a towel to wipe the sweat from his face. His hands were pressed against me, and his eyes were too deep and dark.
At this point, silence is best.
I didn’t say anything, and neither did he. After wiping his sweat, I moved slightly closer to him and placed a shallow kiss on his lips.
“Fu Shen Yan, I am your wife, this is not embarra*sing, later we will get sick and die of old age, all this will be experienced slowly with time, this is the norm not embarra*sing.”
He looked at me, his gaze deep, for a long time before letting go of me.
The doctor said we could have some liquid food, so Ivana cooked some porridge and I fed it to him one bite at a time, blowing it cold.
He didn’t seem to want to eat it, but every time I brought the porridge to his mouth, he looked at me and opened his mouth to eat it anyway.
One after another, he ate most of the bowl, as Ivana watched us and sat there in silence.
After feeding him, Ivana handed me a new portion of porridge, her eyes already watering.
She said, “You need to eat some too, you can’t starve yourself.”
I lifted my eyes to look at her and caught a glimpse of the sadness and heartache in her eyes, and subconsciously took the porridge, realising as an afterthought that I still had Fu Shenyan’s leftover in my hand.
The medicine was so infused that Fu Shen Yan couldn’t hold on and fell asleep.