Chapter 987
When I said that, I couldn’t help but feel a blockage in my heart, and I looked down and held back my tears. Everyone was blaming me, blaming me for pushing him away, blaming me for not knowing better.
But I was the one who was hurt in the beginning, I was the one who lost the baby, I was the one who suffered all the resentment and aggression, I was the one who suffered all the conflicts.
When I didn’t hear him move, I lifted my eyes and saw his dark, deep eyes looking at me motionlessly.
I was stunned and avoided his gaze, but he hooked my chin and forced me to look at him, “Why do you have to provoke me with her? You know that there is nothing between her and me, it is your wishful thinking that pushed me to her. Why do you start accusing me of wrongdoing? If you can’t get over it, I’ll wait, I’ll give you time, it’s only a lifetime, I can afford to wait, if you can’t let go of it for the rest of your life, I’ll just wait.”
“I didn’t ask you to wait!” I said I didn’t need you to wait, yes, I did push you to Zhou Ranxi, and I was really unhappy in my heart, but so what, time is the best medicine, I’m just worried that after I find someone I’ll keep willingly, I’ll be pestered again and it will affect me, that’s why I pushed you to her, what’s wrong with that? ”
“The phone call tonight you know I didn’t make it and I didn’t want you to come, I didn’t mean to spit all over you, you want me to pay for it, I naturally accept it, but for no reason it’s two million dollars, Fu Shen Yan, why are you so oppressive, you also said, we have been married for many years, if we want to divorce, I will naturally share our common property. I don’t want half of your Fu family’s stuff, Huayu I have already contacted my lawyer to transfer it to your name.”
“There is nothing between us in the future, I will pay you back for the 180,000 suit, but I will not acknowledge the moral damage you are talking about, no matter what.”
Pushing him away, I smoothly pulled the bath towel aside, wrapped it around me and went out.
What was there to be afraid of? It was just skin, and what you saw was what you saw.
He pushed me onto the bed, and all the anger and rage he had been holding back exploded in an instant.
He pinned me down without any regard for my resistance, and his voice was low and cold, “What do you take me for, Fu Shen Yan? What do you take me for? If you want me to do something, just say so, but are you teasing me twice?
I bit my lip in a cold sweat of pain, “Fu Shen Yan, you B*****d.”
“I’m an A**hole?” His voice was gruff, “You tell me what a couple is? You left without saying a word to me? You took it upon yourself to push me to someone else twice? You want to clear the air with me? Shen Shu, do you take those two marriage certificates too lightly?”
“Fu Shen Yan, I want to sue you.”
The pain was unbearable, so she cried out directly, plus the wine had not yet passed, and after several tosses and turns, the aggravation in her heart had increased.
The first thing you need to do is to say that you want to ruin me, why do you need to be like this, you Fu Shen Yan, what kind of women do not have, you are not like this because the one who took the initiative to push you away is me, if one day I become the same as Lu Xinran, only you in the eyes of the heart, you will also feel that I can be thrown away like a rag, Fu Shen Yan, you are only unwilling. Fu Shen Yan, you are just unwilling to let go.”
I said this in tears, my voice choked with pain.
Chapter 988
He stopped abruptly, no longer continuing, his pair of black horses as cold and dark as the deep sea, “So, in your opinion, my painstaking search for you, my careful approach to you, is because I am unwilling?”
Touching the pain in his eyes, I looked down, not willing to look at him anymore.
His chin was cupped and he forced me to look at him, his gaze steely, his voice low and introspective, “What’s the point of hiding? Just tell me openly, what are you afraid of?”
When I didn’t say anything, he laughed coldly, “Why, do you even feel weak?”
“Fu Shen Yan, what do you want from me?” I broke down a little, “Don’t you know in your heart why I pushed you away? I can’t have children anymore, and it’s all because of you. I was a girl who needed her parents to love me, I grew up envying other girls who could ride on their father’s shoulders, you ruined all my expectations of my parents, wasn’t that enough?”
He froze and I choked, “You know all that, yes, I love you, but so what? I could have had children like any other woman, but because of your selfishness, you made me walk through hell, made me lose a child, and made me unable to be a mother ever again. You also made it impossible for me to look my real parents in the eye, you made us kill each other and turn into enemies, and all of that is not enough to make me push you away?”
He looked at me, his dark eyes as deep and cold as ice in a waxing moon.
I smiled bitterly, “Yes, you think that as long as we love each other enough and understand each other enough, we can still live together without any worries and become a couple that people will envy, but Fu Shen Yan, ask yourself, can we really not ask about the past? At least, I can’t.”
I had tried to let go and forget all the hurts of the past, and I had thought that maybe if I had just conceived another child, all the things I had done before would be buried.
But as fate would have it, I couldn’t have another baby, which meant that I would be tied to that dead child for the rest of my life and have to live with all the past for the rest of my life.
I am a human being, not an animal, and I will be tormented by the memories. Once I see someone else’s mother and child, I will break down and my inner resentment will consume me, and I will never be able to love this man again with peace of mind, I will only grow to resent him.
So, I chose to leave him.
After a long time, he got up, walked aside in silence, picked up the phone and dialed out.
“Chen Yi, send two sets of clothes over.” Hanging up the phone, he went into the bathroom.
It didn’t take him long to get out of the bathroom, the door to his room was knocked on and he went out with a bath towel tied around his waist.
When he came back, he had two bags in his hands, and he didn’t avoid me, changing directly in front of the bed and blow-drying his hair.
I lay on the bed and he stood by the window, his voice low and introspective with a touch of powerlessness, “Here are the clothes, from now on I won’t haunt you, you’re free.”
He put down the bag in his hand and put it on the bedside table, took his phone and car keys, then turned to leave.
“Fu Shen Yan!” I spoke, calling out to him.
He stopped, his slender back a little stiff, didn’t look back at me, just responded in a shallow voice, “Hm!”
I let out a breath, bit my lip slightly and spoke, “If it’s okay, I want us to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau together and get the divorce papers.”
A chill filled the air and his hands, which were sideways at his sides, were clenched into dead fists, the bruises on the backs of his hands surfacing.
“Fine!” After a long time, he spat out one word, clean and crisp.
As I watched him leave, my whole body lay on the bed, tears sliding down both cheeks.
In the next life, I hope we don’t have to be overly stunning, we don’t have to fall in love with each other in a spectacular way, we just want to meet in an ordinary way and walk in an ordinary way until we die.
This night is destined to be a difficult night to sleep.